Beyond Love's Ideology: Nurturing Approach to Enduring Relationships

In In The Name Of Love: Romantic Ideology And Its Victims, Aaron Ben-Ze'ev and Ruhama Goussinsky present an alternative approach to love, which they call the 'Nurturing Approach.' This perspective emphasizes self-worth, autonomy, and development with the hope that such principles would lead to a more uring relationship in today's world.

The Nurturing Approach stands out because it posits that for romantic relationships to thrive, both partners should derive profound satisfaction from how their bond nurtures each other's growth and contentment. This is achieved through four core principles:

1. Self-Validation Over Other-Validation: It promotes autonomy and self-esteem by encouraging individuals to validate themselves based on their intrinsic worth rather than seeking validation from others.

2. Intrinsic Valuable Activities: The focus shifts to the activity itself, emphasizing its inherent value over any external rewards or outcomes that might stem from it.

3. Promoting Versus Preventing Behavior: Rather than merely reacting agnst negative aspects of a relationship, this approach advocates for proactive steps in nurturing and enhancing each other's well-being and love.

4. Uniqueness Over Exclusivity: It celebrates the unique qualities of each individual rather than seeking to dominate or exclude others from their lives.

5. Functional Harmony Over Mechanical Fusion: This principle acknowledges that genuine closeness arises not just from emotional intimacy but from shared experiences of growth, development, and mutual support.

These principles form a framework for fostering healthier, more fulfilling relationships by emphasizing personal growth, self-respect, and the intrinsic value of activities rather than solely focusing on outcomes. The Nurturing Approach offers an alternative to traditional romantic ideologies that might prioritize control or external validation over inner satisfaction and mutual respect.

Keywords: Nurturing Approach, self-worth, autonomy, development, satisfaction, self-validated model, intrinsically valuable activities, promoting behavior, uniqueness, functional harmony

Subject: Developmental Psychology

Collection: Oxford Scholarship Online
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